Sunday, February 14, 2010

Day 5 and I'm cranky

I almost skipped blogging, 'cause I'm cranky and just through a grown up temper tantrum. But, I figured that wouldn't really be honest. So here I am. Really, I don't have a good reason to be cranky. Maybe it was the stupid celtic music that came on the radio when I was out of the room and I came back expecting the good bluegrass program. Maybe it's because with 6 people living in a house, well 5 now, it doesn't seem like anything EVER gets or stays clean. Maybe it's cause it's Valentine's day, and while we don't ever really celebrate Valentine's day I still wish mine was here. OK, enough of that. Now, it's time to focus on the reasons I shouldn't be cranky.

I have a great husband, who made sure to call me even though he was hot and tired from working all day and was waiting in line at 9:30 at night for a shower. And he got to visit 2 orphanages today one for special needs children and one filled with little ones. And while he fears they may not be able to meet the basic needs (when he asked one orphanage what they needed they said: a building, food, water) he is going to do everything he can. He visited a town today that was rubble. The orphanage children, as in toddlers and babies, sleep outside in tents: while I am in a structurally sound house with cabinets full of food and can turn on a faucet for clean water and get a hot shower anytime I want. Yeah, I really don't have any good reasons for being cranky-do I.

I am blessed with 4 amazing, healthy kids who get along more than they don't and really desire to do what is right, even when mom is cranky. They even pray that God will bring them 2 more siblings.

OK, I need to go clean up my room (yeah, after fussing at the kids all day to clean their stuff). The lady from JFS is coming tomorrow for our first home visit (hence the panic over having a clean house). You know how people will talk about how folks should get a license to become a parent. Well, that's what we're having to do. We have to open up our entire lives to be inspected by complete strangers to determine whether or not we are suitable to parent children. I understand the purpose, but it's still intrusive and intimidating. And even though we've been through it all once before, it doesn't get any easier. There is always the nagging thought in the back of your head of "what if I'm not good enough?" What if .... So, next time you think "people should have a license to parent" maybe we should remember that the majority of folks are good parents. They may do it diffently than you would do it, but they've got a different kid than you do. I know I became a lot more forgiving of my own parents when I became one. And a lot less judgemental of other parents, well most of the time(hey, I'm human). Especially when I remember that I have times too, that if Dr. Phil's camera were on my wall...well, I'm thankful it's not. But, then again, the One whose opinion really matters sees it all and fortunately He is the perfect parent and a very forgiving, loving one at that.

Well, I feel a lot less cranky now. Thanks. Good night and Happy Valentine's day.


Tom Hieb said...

I just said a prayer for all of you. I know the inspection will go well today. It's ok to be cranky once in a while. God understands and so do the people who love you.

Momma Shell said...

Michelle, You are a great parent. I'm often in awe of what I see in your kids, respect, generosity, articulate and thoughtful speech, love, and just enough mischief thrown in to show they're real kids. The two additions you seek (and I'm sure He'll provide) are going to blessed out of their minds! Keep up the good work. I love how you're being honest - one of the statements in our Max Lucado study, "Experiencing the Heart of Jesus" is "From the beginning God has called for honesty. He's never demanded perfection, but he has expected truthfulness." So you are right on target. We're praying for you all. Love and blessings!

findjennifer said...

I just love you to pieces! Just wanted to say that. Also, I felt God telling me to ask you to read Psalm 121 last week, but I felt kinda silly about it, and I never did. I am praying for you every day. Oofta